Who says Religion can't be funny?
Written on 10:30 PM by Pastor Coon
May your troubles be less,
may your blessings be more,
and may nothing but happiness
come through your door
Love you all and praying for you!!
May your troubles be less,
may your blessings be more,
and may nothing but happiness
come through your door
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This is the first thing that I've seen that makes sense in the expensive efforts to rebuild New Orleans.
For complete description of materials and exact instructions on how to build it, please refer to Genesis 5:14-16
Posted in Current Events, humor | 0 comments
Just three little words-
But oh how much they say.
"I love you," "Hold me tight,"
"Stay by me," "Let us pray."
Learning words in childhood
At my mother's knee
Was, oh, so very simple
As they were taught to me.
And there are many others
I've learned along the way-
"Take my hand," "I need you,"
And "Never go away."
These words have never left me-
I use them o'er and o'er;
And as life is slipping by me
I use them even more.
God hears these words-
Each simple little line.
Now I wait for Him to say,
"Come...you're mine."
Posted in priceless | 0 comments
Dwight Nelson told a true story about the pastor of his church. He had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and then was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc. The kitty would not come down. The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and drove slowly away, the tree would bend and he would be able to reach up and get the kitten.
That's what he did, all the while checking his progress in the car. He then figured if he went just a little bit further, the tree would be sufficiently bent for him to reach the kitten. But as he moved the car a little further forward, the rope broke.
The tree went "boing!" and the kitten instantly sailed through the air and out of sight. The pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the neighborhood asking people if they'd seen a little kitten. No. Nobody had seen a stray kitten. So he prayed, "Lord, I just commit the kitten to your keeping," and went on about his business.
A few days later he was at the grocery store, and met one of his church members. He happened to look into her shopping cart and was amazed to see cat food. This woman was a cat hater and everyone knew it, so he asked her, "Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?"
She replied, "You won't believe this," and then she told him how her little girl had been begging for a cat, but she kept refusing. Then a few days before, the child had begged again and the Mom finally told her little girl, "If God gives you a cat, I'll let you keep it."
She told the pastor, "I watched my daughter go out in the yard, get on her knees, and ask God for a cat. And really, Pastor, you won't believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky, with its paws outspread, and landed right in front of her."
The moral of our story is "Never underestimate the Will of God, the Power of Prayer, and His unique sense of humor."
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As you might know the head of a company survived 9-11 because his son
started kindergarten that morning.
Another fellow was alive because it was his turn to bring donuts.
One woman was late because her alarm clock didn't go off.
One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike because of an auto accident.
One of them missed the bus.
One spilled food on her clothes and had to take time to change.
One's car wouldn't start.
One went back to answer the phone.
One had a child who dawdled and they didn't get ready as soon as they should have.
One couldn't get a taxi.
The one that struck me the most was the man who put on a new pair of shoes that morning, took the various means to get to work but before he got there, he developed a blister on his heel. He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid. That is why he is alive today.
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Charles Spurgon said this regarding prayer-
Prayer pulls the rope below and the great bell rings above in the ears of God. Some scarcely stir the bell, for they pray so languidly, others give but an occassional pluck at the rope; but he who wins with heaven is the man who grasps the rope boldly and pulls continuously, with all his might.
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"The proper way for a man to pray,"
Said Deacon Lemuel Keys,
"The only proper attitude
Is down upon your knees."
"No! I should say the way to pray,"
Said Reverend Dr. Wise,
"Is standing straight with outstretched arms
And rapturous upturned eyes."
"It seems to me, his hands should be
Devoutly clasped in front.
With both thumbs pointing toward the ground."
Said Reverend Dr. Blunt.
"Last year, I fell in Hodkin's well,
Head first," said Cyrus Brown.
"With both my heels a stickin' up,
My head a-p'intin' down.
"And I made prayer right then and there-
Best prayer I ever said!
The prayinest prayer I ever prayed
Was standin' on my head."
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1. Give something away (no strings attached).
2. Do a kindness (and forget it).
3. Spend a few minutes with the aged (their experience is a priceless guidance).
4. Look intently into the face of a baby (and marvel).
5. Laugh often (it is life's lubricant).
6. Give thanks (a thousand times a day is not enough).
7. Pray (or you will lose the way).
8. Work (with vim and vigor).
9. Plan as though you will live forever (because you will).
10. Live as though you will die tomorrow (because you will die on some tomorrow).
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