Written on 8:46 PM by Pastor Coon
Friends please bear with this lengthy posting, but in an effort to raise the needed funds to finance the Lord's work here I want to present the following proposal. The plan involves leasing at least 100 acres of land and starting a possum ranch. A possum skin can be sold for about $1 each skin. If we can raise enough partners/capital to start with 250,000 possums, a possum will have about 12 babies a year so within one year the original investment of 250,000 possums will grow to 30 million. At $1 per possum skin we could gross $30 million harvesting the skins. Of course there are many beautiful uses for possum skin. Below are some samples:
Notice the richness of the color, the suppleness of the skin in both the Throw and the Comforter.
The biggest obstacle would be the expense of feeding and skinning the possums. There would probably be a lot of rats converging on the ranch because of the filth created by the possums. So I propose that we train the possums to eat the rats that would serve two purposes: first it would serious eliminate the rat population and to it would save a ton of money on feeding the possums. The limited population of surviving rats would help us in the disposal/decomposition of the possum carcasses after we skinned them, thus keeping the ranch cleaner and aiding us in overall care and control of both populations.
The only other hurdle would be the expense of salaries for the hired possum skinners. I do suppose that a large albeit necessary investment in research and development could possibly lead to a gene/splicing of possum DNA with snake could 
limit this financial burden of hired skinners. Logically since snakes shed their skins, perhaps the possum/snake hybrid could accomplish this for us and just simply increase our profit with only a limited rise in overhead. In fact, I was just watching the Discovery channel and they have identified snake species that shed their skin two or three times in the same year. Imagine the profit potential with just a minimal R&D investment. We are looking at over $60 million year profit out of this hybrid gene-spliced possum skin in both more possum skin output as well as a savings from not having to hire expensive possum skinners.
The big money of course is not just in the possum skins at $1 each. The fortune to be made is in selling this idea and allowing others to join the ranks of wealth with us with but a modest donation, an investment in the plan. As a pastor in a society full of name-it-and-claim-it, God-told-me-to-do-it, get rich quick jargon of so many "religious leaders" it should not be difficult at all to add people to our plan. I'm available to present our business plan to your friends but really the selling of the idea, the dream, to your friends needs to come from you. You could present this as a simple investment plan "selling shares" or maybe develop a "pyramid-like" organization that allows others to bring financial supporters/investors in under their "authority".
Either way you decide to build your investors please allow me to send you a customized starter kit for a one time fee of $149.95. This starter kit is only that first push in the right direction for establishing our initial investment, plus this one time fee is only to cover the cost of the professional presentation and to establish connections within the possum-skin business. Now you can utilize your starter kit to develop your own local possum ranch and it would only require $13.50 per person that invested in your ranch to be paid back to me for royalties and copyright protection, etc. The world is our oyster and we with dedication and a powerful presentation will make our own pearls!
Some reader might want to try the Possum Ranch plan, but God has a better way of financing His work on earth -- it's found in Malachi 3:8-10 and has been successfully proven by many who obey Him!!
"Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings...Ye are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation...Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it."
Posted in
humor
|
Written on 8:59 AM by Pastor Coon
The following is excerpted from “Government Considering Gas Tax on Cows,” WKYC TV, leveland, Ohio, Jan. 6, 2009: “Scientists say an average dairy cow can pass 50 to 100 gallons of gasses into the air daily. The federal EPA is considering a gas tax on dairy cattle and other farm animals. For dairy cows, the tax could be $175 for each animal per year. The American Farm Bureau Federation says that could cost a medium sized dairy farm $40,000 a year. ‘We won’t even make that in profit this year,' said Brenda Hastings of Hastings Dairy in Burton. ... Hastings pointed out that Farm Bureau research shows dairy cattle emissions account for only 0.66 percent of greenhouse gasses. ‘More than two thirds of greenhouse gasses come from water vapor. Maybe they should tax Lake Erie instead,’ she said.”
Perhaps the Argentines have it figured out. The photo above shows an Argentine cow with a gas tank for trapping expelled methane gas.
Posted in
priceless
|
Written on 3:34 AM by Pastor Coon
A godly farmer was doing business in 'the big city' and stopped at a restaurant to eat lunch. When his meal was brought, he bowed his head and silently gave thanks. A group of loud young men at the next table saw what he did, and one of them called out: "Hey, farmer, does everybody do that where you come from?" "No," replied the farmer, "the pigs don't."
Giving thanks at the table can often become routine. We forget that this simple act of worship is really at the heart of our Christian faith; we are acknowledging our utter dependence upon God. To eat without giving thanks is arrogance and pride.
Posted in
Misc
|
Written on 11:45 AM by Pastor Coon
A friend put this on
his blog and I thought it was funny so I copied it to share with you:
They Tell Me There Is A ...
Bumper sticker seen in Dallas,Texas:
“I’'ll keep my freedom, my guns, and my MONEY, YOU CAN KEEP THE CHANGE!”
Vote for McCain/Palin
Remember it is the Church-house not the Whitehouse that makes the difference in the lives of people.
Isa 40:15 Behold, the nations are as a drop of a bucket, and are counted as the small dust of the balance: behold, he taketh up the isles as a very little thing.
Posted in
humor
|
Written on 3:14 AM by Pastor Coon
I wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phone?
What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
What if we flipped through it several times a day?
What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
What if we used it to receive text messages?
What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?
What if we gave it to kids as gifts?
What if we included our family on it's share plan?
What if we used it when we traveled?
What if we used it in case of an emergency?
What if we used it to keep in touch with our best friend?
This is something to make you go...hmmm...where is my Bible?
Sadly, like our cell phone, we should worry about keeping the signal strong and clear of obstruction; otherwise the communication is going to break down.
Oh, and yes there are no dropped calls from the other end.
Posted in
priceless
|
Written on 3:13 PM by Pastor Coon
Well, friends it is official I have started the web design business (Baptist Ministries Worldwide - Online) that many desired and encouraged me to start. I have been building websites for nearly 10 years now which started from my interest of keeping my widely spread out family informed of the latest happenings in our life, as we travelled around the world while serving in the Marine Corps. I eventually graduated from personal websites to creating professional websites for the churches we attended. This has become very much my favorite hobby over the years.
Understand that I love pastoring and am not replacing my ministry with this hobby of mine. I'm not looking to build a large business or a means of financial support through this business, but I am looking to help churches and missionaries create a web presence. The more I talk to pastors & missionaries and I realize the large expense of websites; the more I see a real need for top-notch website development with very affordable (read: cheap) web services.
I pastor a very small church (September's average Sunday Morning attendance was 23) and have to work a 2nd job just to make ends meet. I know without my knowledge of web development that we could not afford (and probably would not see a need for) a website, but we have had two different families that visited our church because they searched for a church in the area via the Internet and found us. These are visitors from outside of the immediate area of the church and where we have gone canvassing. So a web presence is a real blessing and I would even go so far to say it is a necessity. As more and more people are accustomed to 'googling' on the Internet than reaching for the yellow pages in their search for restaurants, hair-dressers, video stores, and yes even churches, we find more of a need for churches to have a web presence.
I also think that ministry websites need to be updated regularly and give people (members or visitors) a connection to the ministry. These websites need to stay current with the use of the appropriate and coordinating colors, pictures, embedded Javascript or Flash, availability of audio sermons or videos online, easy to use layout, and so much more that the average pastor or missionary doesn't even consider. Most churches may have a member who has an interest to help with website but doesn't always have the experience or commitment to the website and so it quickly becomes impractical to maintain or outdated in its content.
I say all of this to share with you why I started BMW-O and if you or your ministry needs a web presence I would encourage you to consider Baptist Ministries Worldwide - Online for you online needs. Thank you for your time and prayers.
Posted in
Current Events,
Misc
|
Written on 9:04 AM by Pastor Coon
(According to a man)
Cats do what they want.
They rarely listen to you.
They are totally unpredictable.
When you want to play, they want to be alone.
When you want to be alone, they want to play.
They expect you to cater to their every whim.
They are moody.
They leave hair everywhere.
They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.
CONCLUSION: They are tiny women in fur coats!
By the way, I would know this about cats and women, since I have two ladies and 3 female cats in the house!! Pray for us guys!!
Smile people will wonder what you have been up to?!!
Posted in
humor
|
limit this financial burden of hired skinners. Logically since snakes shed their skins, perhaps the possum/snake hybrid could accomplish this for us and just simply increase our profit with only a limited rise in overhead. In fact, I was just watching the Discovery channel and they have identified snake species that shed their skin two or three times in the same year. Imagine the profit potential with just a minimal R&D investment. We are looking at over $60 million year profit out of this hybrid gene-spliced possum skin in both more possum skin output as well as a savings from not having to hire expensive possum skinners.
